The Many Hats of a Leader

     

    The year 2022 brought so many changes to my life- both personally and professionally. I was so excited when I found out I was eligible to graduate from undergrad a semester early, but very quickly noticed how this would also shift my timeline- or "5 year plan". I quickly started to gather information about graduate school, and how I would make everything work for myself. So many changes happened so quickly. I graduated college, was offered my first teaching position, was accepted into graduate school, and my identity shifted in what felt like overnight from student to teacher. 

College Ella was seen as a leader among my peers. I enjoyed helping others with academic tasks, and felt very sure of myself. I looked forward to going to classes and loved the connections I made with other students as well as my professors. I often joked that I was destined to always be a student. I love learning and working with others in the process. Once it became reality that graduation was approaching, I started to have such internal panic. I felt that I would be missing out on monumental moments with my peers, such as Spring student teaching, or preparing for graduation. My identity has been solid for three and a half years. I loved the people I 'worked' with, and I believe that my identity of leader was something I held very close to my heart. In late October of 2022 I was awarded, "Vermont Early Childhood Education Student of the Year" by VTAEYC (Vermont Association for the Education of Young Children). It was a full-circle moment for me. Accepting this award was a perfect ending to my undergraduate career, and I felt in that moment that to be recognized for this, I must have made an impact somewhere. I felt so sure and proud of myself. As a student, I was a leader who collaborated with others, pushed us to think beyond text books, and always envisioned the future. 

In early November, I started my first teaching position. I was so excited to working in the classroom with a group of children who I could call "my students". I was excited to work with other professionals and finally have a sense of belonging within a new school community. I quickly found myself feeling insecure, nervous, and small. I was prepared for the nerves, but I had very rarely felt this kind of way. I was nervous to attend planning meetings, staff meetings, and talking to the principal? No way! It felt like I was too young and too inexperienced to be in this setting and have the responsibilities I did. I still feel that way. But what I have seen is that being a leader occurs in more than one way. I may not be starting 'study groups' or be the point person for setting up meetings, or offering advice, but I do know that I am a leader in the field of education. I truly believe that each of us who enters a school day in and out has to be making some sort of a change and being a change maker is what a leader is to me. 

The shock of post-college life is so real to me, but I am thrilled to be where I am. This journey has shown me that I can hold both roles- or many roles as a leader. Sometimes, it will be loud and others reserved. Both are worthy, and both can help to change the world of education for the better. Regardless of that fact, I believe that both of these experiences help to show me what aspects of leadership I appreciate most. I value openness, friendship, collaboration, and also motivating others. I am excited to see how I can implement these values in my professional life as I grow more comfortable.